Jim Blazsik

The goose with a broken wing. I look for it everyday. Driving along the Maumee river, I see it all alone, always sitting beside the same tree. Why am I so concerned about a stupid goose? If you have had anything to do with geese, you would know that they were brash, arrogant, and pushy. I couldn’t stand being around them. But this goose with a broken wing was different.

The goose with a broken wing seemed, well, to be broken. Broken on the inside, and quiet. As I looked at him, I understood he will never again be the same. He sat there alone, and it seemed as though he had the recognition that loneliness is, what will be. It seemed there was nothing left to do, but to give up to this loneliness.

He will never fulfill his calling; to fly in the sky, swim in the water, and have a family. All he had left to do was to sit by that tree, be alone, and look out into the water.

Peter looked out into water. This once confident, brash, vocal, take charge kind of guy was now lost within himself. He was no longer the same man – his spirit was broken, and he felt like an empty shell.

Peter was a man with a broken wing. His broken wing was his failure. His failure effected him so deeply, that he became obsessed with it. Because of this, he was unable to fly with wings of faith.

“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”
But he replied, “Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death.”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.” LK 22:31-34

“Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death.” Those words kept swirling around Peter’s head. Overcome with his failure, he kept recounting the times he denied Jesus.

A servant girl saw him seated there in the firelight. She looked closely at him and said, “This man was with him.”
But he denied it. “Woman, I don’t know him,” he said.
A little later someone else saw him and said, “You also are one of them.”
“Man, I am not!” Peter replied.
About an hour later another asserted, “Certainly this fellow was with him, for he is a Galilean.”
Peter replied, “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about!”
Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed. The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly. LK 22: 56-62

Peter could see the faces, and hear their voices. He heard the questions over and over again, and each time he heard himself denying Jesus. But it was when Jesus turned to look at Him – Jesus’ gaze that penetrated deep into his soul, that Peter became so overcome from his failure, that he ran, and wept bitterly by himself.

With the eyes of Jesus penetrating his heart, Peter was tortured by the agony of his failure. He couldn’t let it go. His failure had so penetrated deep within his person, that it was now how he understood himself. He was no longer the Apostle, the leader, the follower of Jesus. He was Peter – the failure.

If our lives are driven by our failures, we will lose the sense of our calling. If we lose the sense of our calling, we will lose the sense of ourselves.

We all fail in one way or the other. It could simply be a test at school, not making the team, or winning an art competition. There are failures, but then there are failures. A failed marriage, losing a job, or ending up as a lousy parent. We may even feel that we are a screw up to our parents. I think we carry all our failures everyday of our lives, no matter how small – and it effects how we think of ourselves, and everything that we do.

We begin to use our failures to define ourselves. Our lives become filled with regrets, always wishing things would have gone differently. We may even delude ourselves that the albatross around our necks never happened. Some may play the blame game, constantly blaming others instead of looking in the mirror. Or our lives become filled with excuses – constantly making excuse after excuse, and it never ends.

Or, we run. We run as quickly as possible to get away from our failure. We may turn to another relationship. The bottle or the needle. We may run after things, money, and pleasure – anything to help us forget.

As Peter sat with the others by the Sea of Galilee, Jesus still hasn’t spoken to him about his failure. The joy of Jesus’ resurrection was overcome with Peter’s grief. Peter felt that all was lost. He couldn’t look into the eyes of Jesus again. How could he?

“And why hasn’t Jesus confronted me, why won’t He talk to me?” Peter thought looking out into the water. “Maybe I am not worth talking to,” he concluded. “Why would anyone want to have anything to do with me? Why would anyone want to have anything to do with someone who failed the Lord so miserably?”

Peter couldn’t just wait there any longer.

“I’m going out to fish,” Simon Peter told them, and they said, “We’ll go with you.” So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing. JN 20:3

I believe this was much more than Peter trying to catch the next meal, or finding something to do with his free time. I think Peter was trying to run away from his failure. Peter thought all was lost. He gave up on his calling. Instead of fulfilling his calling as a fisher of men, he now took a step back to catching fish. He couldn’t bring himself to face his failure, and of course was unable to face the One he failed. He was unable to fly with wings of faith.

Peter began to be driven by his failure. If our lives are driven by our failures, we will lose the sense of our calling. If we lose the sense of our calling, we will lose the sense of ourselves.

But Jesus had a different idea.

Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus. He called out to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?”
“No,” they answered.
He said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.” When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.
Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water. JN 20: 4-7

Peter ran away from his calling in a boat as did Jonah. And just like Jonah, he went full circle. If you read Luke 5:1-11, you will see Jesus using the exact same events, to bring Peter back to his original calling – to be a fisher of men.

When they had finished eating (1), Jesus said to Simon Peter,

“Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?”
“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”
Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me?”
He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”
The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?”
He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. JN 20:15-17

Peter is restored. Please take in the drama of this moment. Jesus lifts Peter to Himself, He brings him to restoration without guilt or condemnation – He brings Peter to His very heart.

Notice that Jesus asks Peter Do you love me? three times. I know we come back to his denial of three times – but this is so much more. Peter’s life is not to be driven by his failure, Peter’s life is to be driven by his love for Jesus.
God’s gifts and his call are irrevocable (Rom 11:29). Peter didn’t lose his calling, Jesus knew all along what would happen. After all, He warned Peter of this very thing. Peter’s failure humbled him, and changed Him to focus on what’s important. He became a different person.

And he came to know that in all the times, and in all the places, his love for Jesus is what would bring his life meaning. He would now fulfill his calling because of his love for Jesus, and not love for himself.

Do you love me? This is the very heart of Jesus calling to you right now – do you hear Him? Do you love me? Come to Him now. This is what He cares about, this is what is important to Him – He desires to lift you to His very heart.

If our lives are driven by our failures, we will lose the sense of our calling. If we lose the sense of our calling, we will lose the sense of ourselves. But – if our lives are driven by our love for Jesus, we will be assured of fulfilling our calling, and therefore having the sense of ourselves.

It’s time to leave our failures behind, and fly with wings of faith. I know you may feel it’s too late, or you have failed so much. Don’t be an idiot.(2) Leave it all behind and turn your heart to Jesus now. I beg you to let Him love you. Let Him show His mercy and forgiveness. Let Him clean you up and restore you. Let Jesus bring you close to His heart.

Let you life be driven by your love for Jesus and not by your failures.

Let you life be driven by your love for Jesus and not by your failures.

Let you life be driven by your love for Jesus and not by your failures

Fulfill you calling and fly with the wings of faith.

If you missed The Goose with a Broken Wing Part 1, and would like to check it out – here.

1) I am convinced of a Hungarian influence in the culture of Israel. I was raised knowing to always eat first and then talk later.
(2) Just kidding! I wanted to see if you’re paying attention!

I have been a failure,
I have done many things wrong.
I look back with regrets
At times when I could have been strong.

I wish I would have stood for the right,
I wish I would have spoken up.
I wish I would have stood in courage,
when I only capitulated in silence.

My life is dry,
the desert takes it’s toll.
I yearn for your abundance and Your life.

But I have failed You!
What am I to do?
Is it over for me now.
I still want to do – for You.

I feel like Peter,
who denied You three times.
Jesus I see that You restored him.
Will You restore me?

You have restored me from my failures in the desert to Your abundance of life. I am to soar with the wings of faith.

© Jim Blazsik 2009 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited