What The Nominations Tell Us
Andrew Klavan
Benjamin Button??? You gotta be kidding me. I spent three days watching Benjamin Button one evening and if that’s not the emptiest, most meaningless piece of high gloss semi-entertainment produced last year than I don’t know my American Idol. I mean, Brad Pitt’s a great actor who’s had sex with Angelina Jolie, I concede that. But what was the movie about? People don’t actually get younger, right? So it had to be a metaphor for something. But what? As near as I can make out, it was Hollywood’s take on what marriage is like: You hook up when you’re both hot then she loses her looks and he starts acting like a child.
Slumdog Millionaire? Yeah, I enjoyed it—then promptly forgot it: it’s a little, you know, light. And though I sympathize with Muslims getting persecuted in the world’s largest democracy, I can’t help noticing that Hollywood almost completely ignores all the Christians getting persecuted by genuine tyrants like the Myanmar junta and the ACLU.
Milk was also good, an entertaining little hagiography which proved once and for all that Sean Penn has made a deal with Satan:
You can be the greatest actor of your generation, Sean, if you will but embrace my servants Hugo and Fidel.
Yes, my master Satan, so let it be sealed in my blood.
As for Frost/Nixon and The Reader, look, I really wanted to see those, but I had to wash my hair that night. Or someone’s hair.
Satan Striking Out Before Moving On To Sean Penn
Most of what gets pushed out as entertainment these days is brimmed full of Liberal ideology and bloated with stereotypical drivel. These awards shows are just ways that the out of touch self righteous can pat each other on the back. It is as bad as Cannes where all you have to do is make a movie that is Anti-America and you will have a winner. Frankly I vote with my wallet on this and rarely ever see a movie in the theater and even then it is at the dollar movie venue. I also avoid buying any DVD’s and Blu Rays retail. Hollywood is so out of touch and in that sense it is understandable that they love the current administration so much.